The Cost of Sustainability

The eternally negative stigma surrounding “boxed wine” is enough to make any and all thirst for such libations cease without recourse.  The mere utterance of the word, “Franzia” can send epic repasts into a tailspin; completely ruining the libido inherent in the service of wine out of a bottle.  Imagine the surprise after ordering a bottle of Argentinian Malbec at Founding Farmers and having the following atrocity delivered to our table.

It is a juice box, essentially.  The only difference is this grape juice is fermented and aged.  I politely asked if the cardboard contraption came with sharpened straws for everyone to plunge forecefully into the side of the carton; reminiscent of my elementary days drinking Capri-Sun.  Needless to say, the answer to that question was a firm, “No,” accompanied by a canned spiel about sustainability and efficiency.

Our server stood behind the decision of Yellow + Blue Wines (y+b= green… pathetic) to use the Tetra Prisma Aseptic packaging from Tetra Pak International.  She claimed it was easier to store, lighter, and had a screw-top.  I quickly mentioned that the screw top is irrelevant (it is found on bottles and much more efficient anyway), and questioned whether the packaging has been tested for prolonged storage times.  It had, in fact been approved for up to three years of storage.  We then discussed various ways in which the restaurant was not being green by raising cows that produce methane, etc…

Throughout this entire ordeal the server could have pleased us with one simple fact:

The packaging holds 1 liter which is more wine than comes in a standard bottle.

Forget the organic grapes, a 50% reduction in its carbon footprint, and the fact that we were contributing to global hippydom… MORE WINE FOR THE MONEY.  This little boon will go down in our notebooks as a very fine “Memory.”

By the way, it tasted like a decent Malbec after it was given some time to open up.