Industry Weekly

If you’re flying from Dulles to Europe on United, bring either your AMEX or enough food to get through the day | USA Today

Safeway Ice Cream: No extra charge for the screw | Seattle PI

Yellow Margarine now on sale in Quebec; Locals still confused | CBC

Apple’s iPod Nano “overheating/melting/scorching nearby items” issue shouldn’t be blamed on Apple, according to Apple. | FOX News

PETA donor wants to purchase Sea World and set all the animals free | Sun-Sentinel

High School Student’s investigate grocery stores and restaurants’ results will surprise you | Consumerist via New York Times

Wine Spectator Award of Excellence is clearly a crock of shit; Latest issue included a fake restaurant with Wine Spectator’s lowest scoring Italian Wines over the past 20 years. | Consumerist via Dr. Vino

No Whales at the Dinner Table.

No cold dead fish for me, thanks though.

A trip to any Anheuser-Busch Park is not complete without participating in a dinner “show.”  As far-fetched as it sounds, the “Shamu Rocks Backstage Dinner” is one such “show” that needs attention.  I actually had got a nice warm feeling in my lower region when a comment card arrived at the finale of our extravagant repast.  Imagine my complete consternation when I flip the presumably anonymous card over to reveal none other than my table number! Pictured below is the front of the comment card.

This next photo shows the reverse of the comment card.  One can see the surreptitiously placed “39” in the upper left corner of the rear document (the reverse of the comment card).  In the foreground is my seating assignment which was hastily written on a piece of Shamu Rocks scrap paper.  If I may bird-walk for a moment here… The scrap paper was used in lieu of a card with blank lines – much like my locker assignment – because they didn’t have my party on the reservation sheet; an apparent ‘oversight’ on behalf of the hostess.  Around here we categorize such oversights as “Meltdowns.”

Of course, I went through quite the shilly-shally when deciding what to put on the card.  After all, a gentleman’s American Express is one of his most prized assets; an object of lust for an otherwise monogenic, cheap society, the number could be easily abused by an infuriated Host after reading my endless criticisms of food, service, and whales.

Overall, the show was not worthy of a repeat visit.  I noted on the comment card that the whales do more tricks behaviors during the Breakfast with Shamu experience.  An appreciated thought is including two frosty beers in the price of the dinner; unappreciated is the manager who approached me at the end of my meal with the creme de la creme of closing announcements, “Sir, you’re going to have to leave, I need to secure the area.”

MELTDOWN. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have no doubt that SeaWorld will get their comeuppance eventually, but to help them along the way I have attached a photo of a seating chart inadvertently left out for all to see.  Readers of SOES should request only the best seats and insist on excellence.  The poolside tables are the ones closest to the words “Shamu Rox!” while my table (39) was on the 2nd tier to the left.  Remember to contribute your experiences to the site so we can relive them.

Locker Snafu at Sea World

Mid-July marks the completion of my annual service call on Sea World San Diego. In years past, this facility has proven to be on top of its game. Employees were witnessed having personality and food was more than palatable. Due in no small part to an excellent hospitality program run by Anheuser-Busch Parks, strolling through the breezy walkways whilst daydreaming to a plethora of smooth jazz has always been a welcome change to the hustle and bustle of traditional theme park sojournments. This year, however, it all came to a disastrous halt; starting with a new locker rental policy.

Upon my arrival to the locker area I was greeted by large red signs detailing the switch from trusty one-time use coin operated devices to all-day rentals. The sign directed me to the “Rental Center” in order to lease the compact metal space. Aside from the occasional requisition of a stroller after too many free beer samples at the A-B Hospitality Center, I never had use for the rental center and thus did not know where to find it. Moreover, the resourceful gentleman will always hijack strollers from small children as a first option, knowing full well it will be put to better use carting his own pickled mass into the Brewmaster’s club for additional beer samples.

After inquiring as to the whereabouts of the Rental Center I discovered it was merely around the corner from where I was standing. I came across a queue that was blocked by a portly gentleman at a fold-out table hovering over a stack of scrap paper. After attempting to shimmy past the table to get on line, I was told to see the rotund fellow first. He quickly handed me a handwritten paper with instructions on retrieving a locker then directed me to the queue.

It turns out lockers now cost $7.00 with a $5.00 key deposit (given I return with my original receipt and key). With haste, I paid the $12.00 and awaited the long sought after key. Waited and waited and waited. Apparently the large man at the fold out table had written a key number that they did not seem to have. The cashier (whose personality would suggest her entire family had passed away in the last hour) paid two visits to the fat man in an attempt to sort things out. Finally, I was handed my long sought-after key; this is where we lose all logic.

LOCKER #568

Or was it? Another hand written message revealed I was locker # 151 but key # 568.

COMPLETE AND UTTER MELTDOWN…